In the silence
In the silence between the heartbeats I know it's not right. When I allow myself to think and feel for myself, I know it's not what I want for me, for them. I resisted for so long and then decided to join the norm. I loved it. It became addicting. Often going through my day, narrating or thinking about what I can post to Facebook. A slippery slope. I pull back and then get called to it again. It's the collective conscience I believe. " Well so and so posts more pictures than I do" "They're doing it, so it's fine for me too." So I stop and think "Do I want my children to be known by the whole world of facebook?" "Do I want them to see me so distracted by a silly app on my phone, that I can't truly participate in the now?" "Is facebook serving me?" "Does it make my soul shine?" No. No. Sometimes. No. It's weird when you run into a "facebook" friend and they know y