Story of Now

Sometimes I tend to get caught up in worry, especially before a big transition. Ever since Liberty started falling asleep consistently with breastfeeding at bedtime, I dreaded the day she'd have to fall asleep any other way.  I feared I wouldn't be able to comfort her into a peaceful slumber. The dreaded day was Sunday, and it actually was beautiful. Something I worried about for close to a year, couldn't have been more perfect. She laid in my arms as I rocked her and sang to her. We looked at each other and there was understanding. Our hearts were speaking and we were both okay. We'd done well on this journey. She was awake when I put her in her crib and she softly drifted into sleep. It couldn't have been more beautiful.     Worry didn't have a chance against love.

One of the favorite parts of my day used to be when I'd go get Liberty from her nap.  She would be standing up happy and waiting for me to arrive. I'd pick her up out of her crib she'd wrap her warm legs around me and rest her soft little head on my shoulder.  I would kiss her forehead and brush her hair with my hand and just hug her for a few moments. Now it seems she is interested in exploring around her crib when she wakes up and isn't as eager to get out and hug me.  Maybe this is toddler hood.  Maybe I need to let go a little. I do know that I will embrace all the sweet tenderness when I can in whatever form it comes.

Liberty turned one yesterday.  She has had a very happy and healthy first year. In one year we went from having her in our arms for hours and hours each day to having her run all around the zoo on her birthday! What an amazing journey this first year has been. I am just so in love with her! People always warned me how fast it would go and to cherish all of it. Time definitely felt different this past year.  Some days were long and it seemed that the weeks flew by and yet it feels like forever ago that we left the hospital with our sweet Liberty. A friend told me it is because SO much happens in such a little bit of time, and I agree. With a baby, change seems to happen daily; a new sound, a new expression, a new movement! I can say that we were good about writing things down and taking pictures and videos;  I feel good knowing that I have a few places to look when I need to jog my memory of what she was like ...

Liberty just started walking about a week ago.  It is so funny sometimes because she tries to go so fast that her head gets in front of the rest of her body..gotta love her enthusiasm. Yesterday was a day that I would normally not have spent with Liberty because I worked the night before.  I slept a couple hours in the morning and then we spent the afternoon outside.  It was a gorgeous day and so much fun! This journey of watching her grow and learn has to be one of the most amazing things ever! So much joy in my heart.

She gave me that look and pointed at the container of pureed spinach and potatoes. Her cry said "I am a big girl, I can do it myself." She pleaded "I have been feeding myself finger foods for months, I know I can handle pureed too!" What was a mother to do?

I have been dreaming of a place where I can be artsy and craftsy... a place where I can sit down in my spare minutes and be creative... a place where I can leave a mess and pick up where I left off... a place for my mind to wander and my hands to create! So I created space in the basement. Before  After I took 3 Queen/King flatsheets and nailed them to the ceiling beams....looks sort of pillowy. I measured the area for carpet and got a 12x13 remnant and put carpet tape around the edges and laid it down. I added lights, shelving, tables and a couple nails to hang a canvas and a painting shirt.... Voila!!! I am happy with this budget makeover!  Estimated cost $120 I am so excited to have this space to create!! I will be hosting craft parties too...yay!!

She didn't know through all her trials that there would be such triumph. She didn't know that bad relationships would help her to be grateful for the good ones. She didn't know she'd have a wonderful husband who would love her just the way she was. She didn't know that all the terrible choices she made  would turn into lessons to reflect on. She didn't know that the things her mom was saying would be things she'd say to her own daughter. She didn't know that when she was lost she was really on the path to knowing herself. She didn't know that all along there was a plan and it was better than anything she could of dreamed of. She was me.

Although our MN winter was mild compared to other years, I longed for short-sleeve weather! These past two days the weather has been dreamy; warm and breezy! Yesterday Liberty and I went for 3 walks and today we went for 2!  Happy Sunny Days!

Dear Daughter- My wish for you: to know the kind of love that will make your heart sing, to be kind to yourself and to others, to listen to your inner passion and not the naysayers, to keep a young heart always! Love, Mom

In my birthday post of 2011  I wrote about finding balance between all my various roles and parts of myself.  I wrote about spending less time on wasteful activities. I am beginning to find that balance. I spend less time on facebook. I still go on facebook but I am not constantly thinking "oh, I need to post this picture or say this" etc.  I don't feel attached to facebook.  Now when I take pictures I just think about documenting the present moment and not whether I need to show it to the world. It is a good relationship to have with facebook because before I was a little crazy. During Liberty's nap time I used to just waste time on the computer.  Now I have been organizing, creating, making baby food or cleaning.   I used to think I had to accomplish a huge project all at once.  I am seeing that even 10 minutes of sketching, brainstorming or organizing helps me to feel a balance within. My new ...

On my way home from work this morning I noticed the magical scenery around me.  I hoped it would stay that way until I got home. When I got home baby was sleeping with dadda on the couch, so I escaped outside with my macro lens.  The hoar frost reminded me of little feathers...lovely!

Source: suziebeezie.tumblr.com via Krista on Pinterest How I dream of a craft room like this! Clean and organized.  A spot that belongs to just crafting. A spot where I can just jump right in even if I only have ten minutes to spare. I will create space just for crafting very soon. Only thing I would add is an easel, so I could paint standing up if I wanted. Dream. Dream. Dream. Make true.  Make true.  Make true!

Dear Daughter- You reach a place in my heart that I never knew existed, until there was you. You fill my life with such joyful abundance! Every night as you fall asleep in my arms I get teary eyed and thank God for you. I thank God for you everyday! Love, Mom 

It's that time of year where I reflect on the past one and make goals for the next one. It's not because of the New Year but because it's my birthday. This year I have been so blessed!  I have gone through many changes this year, probably more than any other year.  From being pregnant, to giving birth, to managing on little sleep, to being needed every hour of every day. It has been a transition from pregnancy to motherhood, from married to married with children, from tons of creative time to little creative time, from doubt in myself to confidence, from anticipation to pure joy! Yesterday was my birthday. In the morning Matt made eggs, like he has for the past 4 months, but this time we had mimosa's. We celebrated me, we celebrated Liberty, we celebrated life! I spent the afternoon playing and cuddling with Liberty. Watching her wondrously look at the world puts things into perspective.  She reminds me that life really i...

Dear Daughter- May you always be grateful for everything, whether it be the things you have, the abilities you possess, or the opportunities you've been given. I hope you see the good even in difficult situations. May your heart overflow with gratefullness and joy! Love, Mom

This time last year, I was grateful to have a break from morning sickness and really enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. This year, I am grateful to have my baby girl in my arms and have a wonderful husband to parent with.

Dear daughter, May you always greet the person in the mirror with a smile. Be gentle with her. Be proud of her. Encourage her to follow her dreams and her heart. Forgive her when she makes mistakes. Love, Mom

This little girl is going to be turning two in a week or so. You may remember her from her 18 month pics and 3 month pics. I am really amazed at how much of a difference 6 months makes. Don't you just love her curly pigtails! We started the session outside! She loved playing in the leaves , hugging trees, and jumping around! Her and her momma! So beautiful! Then we went inside. Her mom had a vintage dress for her and then surprised her with the tea set!!

Sometimes I stop and look at Liberty and think "This is my life. Wow. How did I get so lucky." You know how people will ask "Is she/he a good baby?" I mean does anyone really say no? Well, Liberty is a wonderful baby. I feel so blessed. She is 4 months and 1 week. She smiles and squeals and giggles and melts my heart every time. She makes this really breathy excited sound when she is anticipating something. Motherhood has been a very enlightening journey so far and we are only 4 months in!!

I had the pleasure of meeting up with this family on Friday. This couple has been married for 40 years and they were celebrating by having a family photo with their two daughters, son-in-law and two grandchildren. I am always inspired by lasting love. Just think how many peoples lives have been changed because of their love! It really is amazing if you stop and think about it. There are 4 people in the picture who wouldn't have been possible without their love. The ripples will go on forever! Thank you "M" family for letting me be a part of your celebration weekend!