Story of Now

  In the face of tragedy we must remember that LOVE is greater than FEAR.  We must let love lead us and be our focus. We must feel the love in our hearts for lives lost and lives changed forever. We must not focus on the anger, although there will naturally be anger. We must pray. We must pray even for those who are angry that they deal with it constructively.  We must pray that our children live not in fear but in the light of God.   I do not think the answer is more guns. I do not think the answer is "what to do if a gunmen enters the school" drill. I do not think anger is the answer. I do not think instilling more fear is the answer.    I do believe the answer begins with love. I do believe we must help the troubled, the people that are a little "off", the homeless, the forgotten. I do believe we must pray for our children and love them and hold them a little longer. I do believe we must change.  

  Dear Daughter- May the glee you have within you now never diminish. May you always have the hunger to know and understand. And may you always find ways to bring joy to those around you! Love, Mom

I love garage sales; someones garbage becomes my treasure at a cheap price. Estate sales are completely different. Sure I still find treasures but it also is a spiritual experience. I find myself connecting with this person I don't know. I am gathering their stories, understanding who they were, what they valued, what their hobbies were.   This morning I went to an estate sale of a woman, a widower, a mother, a grandmother, a seamstress.  A woman who is now in the end stages of Alzheimer's.  I connected with her spirit and also reflected about my aunt and grandmother who I lost just over a year ago to the same disease. To those that have lost someone to Alzheimer's you know that you have to grieve twice, first you lose the person then you lose the body.   Such emotions in me today.   I cannot get through an estate sale without feeling connected to God and to the person whose stuff I am rummaging through and I am than...

I had read about recycling broken crayons here , and just had to try it.   I took the paper off all the crayons which was the most time consuming part of the process. I coated the mini-muffin tin with vegetable oil and sorted the crayons. I sorted some in color schemes, like yellows and oranges, pinks and purples, greens and blues. And then I added a few different schemes like red and green for Christmas and pink and silver cuz that's just pretty! ( I forgot to take a picture of the crayons layered in their spots before baking...forgive me I had a toddler hugging my leg =)) Here are the crayons after baking for about 7 minutes at 275 degrees. Aren't they just so pretty.    I imagine if they were soap how yummy they'd smell or if they were candy how delicious they'd taste.  But they are crayons and I imagine they will color some gorgeous pictures!   Shine on!     

Sometimes I tend to get caught up in worry, especially before a big transition. Ever since Liberty started falling asleep consistently with breastfeeding at bedtime, I dreaded the day she'd have to fall asleep any other way.  I feared I wouldn't be able to comfort her into a peaceful slumber. The dreaded day was Sunday, and it actually was beautiful. Something I worried about for close to a year, couldn't have been more perfect. She laid in my arms as I rocked her and sang to her. We looked at each other and there was understanding. Our hearts were speaking and we were both okay. We'd done well on this journey. She was awake when I put her in her crib and she softly drifted into sleep. It couldn't have been more beautiful.     Worry didn't have a chance against love.

One of the favorite parts of my day used to be when I'd go get Liberty from her nap.  She would be standing up happy and waiting for me to arrive. I'd pick her up out of her crib she'd wrap her warm legs around me and rest her soft little head on my shoulder.  I would kiss her forehead and brush her hair with my hand and just hug her for a few moments. Now it seems she is interested in exploring around her crib when she wakes up and isn't as eager to get out and hug me.  Maybe this is toddler hood.  Maybe I need to let go a little. I do know that I will embrace all the sweet tenderness when I can in whatever form it comes.

Liberty turned one yesterday.  She has had a very happy and healthy first year. In one year we went from having her in our arms for hours and hours each day to having her run all around the zoo on her birthday! What an amazing journey this first year has been. I am just so in love with her! People always warned me how fast it would go and to cherish all of it. Time definitely felt different this past year.  Some days were long and it seemed that the weeks flew by and yet it feels like forever ago that we left the hospital with our sweet Liberty. A friend told me it is because SO much happens in such a little bit of time, and I agree. With a baby, change seems to happen daily; a new sound, a new expression, a new movement! I can say that we were good about writing things down and taking pictures and videos;  I feel good knowing that I have a few places to look when I need to jog my memory of what she was like ...

Liberty just started walking about a week ago.  It is so funny sometimes because she tries to go so fast that her head gets in front of the rest of her body..gotta love her enthusiasm. Yesterday was a day that I would normally not have spent with Liberty because I worked the night before.  I slept a couple hours in the morning and then we spent the afternoon outside.  It was a gorgeous day and so much fun! This journey of watching her grow and learn has to be one of the most amazing things ever! So much joy in my heart.

She gave me that look and pointed at the container of pureed spinach and potatoes. Her cry said "I am a big girl, I can do it myself." She pleaded "I have been feeding myself finger foods for months, I know I can handle pureed too!" What was a mother to do?

I have been dreaming of a place where I can be artsy and craftsy... a place where I can sit down in my spare minutes and be creative... a place where I can leave a mess and pick up where I left off... a place for my mind to wander and my hands to create! So I created space in the basement. Before  After I took 3 Queen/King flatsheets and nailed them to the ceiling beams....looks sort of pillowy. I measured the area for carpet and got a 12x13 remnant and put carpet tape around the edges and laid it down. I added lights, shelving, tables and a couple nails to hang a canvas and a painting shirt.... Voila!!! I am happy with this budget makeover!  Estimated cost $120 I am so excited to have this space to create!! I will be hosting craft parties too...yay!!

She didn't know through all her trials that there would be such triumph. She didn't know that bad relationships would help her to be grateful for the good ones. She didn't know she'd have a wonderful husband who would love her just the way she was. She didn't know that all the terrible choices she made  would turn into lessons to reflect on. She didn't know that the things her mom was saying would be things she'd say to her own daughter. She didn't know that when she was lost she was really on the path to knowing herself. She didn't know that all along there was a plan and it was better than anything she could of dreamed of. She was me.

Although our MN winter was mild compared to other years, I longed for short-sleeve weather! These past two days the weather has been dreamy; warm and breezy! Yesterday Liberty and I went for 3 walks and today we went for 2!  Happy Sunny Days!

Dear Daughter- My wish for you: to know the kind of love that will make your heart sing, to be kind to yourself and to others, to listen to your inner passion and not the naysayers, to keep a young heart always! Love, Mom

In my birthday post of 2011  I wrote about finding balance between all my various roles and parts of myself.  I wrote about spending less time on wasteful activities. I am beginning to find that balance. I spend less time on facebook. I still go on facebook but I am not constantly thinking "oh, I need to post this picture or say this" etc.  I don't feel attached to facebook.  Now when I take pictures I just think about documenting the present moment and not whether I need to show it to the world. It is a good relationship to have with facebook because before I was a little crazy. During Liberty's nap time I used to just waste time on the computer.  Now I have been organizing, creating, making baby food or cleaning.   I used to think I had to accomplish a huge project all at once.  I am seeing that even 10 minutes of sketching, brainstorming or organizing helps me to feel a balance within. My new ...

On my way home from work this morning I noticed the magical scenery around me.  I hoped it would stay that way until I got home. When I got home baby was sleeping with dadda on the couch, so I escaped outside with my macro lens.  The hoar frost reminded me of little feathers...lovely!

Source: suziebeezie.tumblr.com via Krista on Pinterest How I dream of a craft room like this! Clean and organized.  A spot that belongs to just crafting. A spot where I can just jump right in even if I only have ten minutes to spare. I will create space just for crafting very soon. Only thing I would add is an easel, so I could paint standing up if I wanted. Dream. Dream. Dream. Make true.  Make true.  Make true!

Dear Daughter- You reach a place in my heart that I never knew existed, until there was you. You fill my life with such joyful abundance! Every night as you fall asleep in my arms I get teary eyed and thank God for you. I thank God for you everyday! Love, Mom